If you are anything like me, you were brought up to treat women as equals. Then, when you had kids, you did everything you could, short of breastfeeding, to help bring them up. And then your relationship goes pear-shaped and your assumptions, plans and dreams of being a family man blow up in your face. Sadly, this is a common occurrence but, ironically, I have never been better prepared to cope.
See, I have this amazing daughter whose name is Lexa, she is my little angel since she was born but year after year despite the fact that I know she loves me to bits, she is getting fiercer by the day. Especially when we are shopping for her girl dresses around Singapore.
I used to go and buy girl clothes for her since she cannot simply quite decide yet, I love dressing her up, I think I understand how mothers are so excited for their kids. So, I was up and about, shopping for clothes for my little Lexa, there was no problem at first, she loves everything I buy for her. She makes cute little whimpers that mean she is happy and thankful for not just clothes but also toys that I bring home.
The problem started when one day she came home crying. As a father, I was instinctively protective. I was like, "Who made you cry?" "What happened?" "Are you okay?" "Stop crying." She just told me angrily that she does not want to wear the clothes I bought.
I wonder where I went wrong. Clueless like any other man, I scratched my head and looked at the girl clothes I shopped for. Was it too pink? Was it too cartoony? What? What did I do wrong? So, I found myself knocking at my neighbour's door feeling like an idiot when she opened her door. I was holding up shopping bags in front of me and then I said, "Can you help me? Are these too girly? Why does Lexa hate them?"
My neighbour simply and calmly advised me to think of Lexa's personality perhaps she does not feel any connection to the things I bought her. So, I spent that night thinking about my daughter, she is quirky, artsy, and a bit hot-headed for her age. She loves shows in Cartoon Network but hates Disney princesses, according to her Disney princesses are dumb. Alright, so no more Frozen girl clothes. Got it.
One day, she went home crying again and this time it was worse because I already shopped for girl dresses that I thought suits her personality. I finally had the guts to sit down with her, (yeah I am still scared to confront my child, I promise I am working on it.) I asked her, "Lexa, what is wrong? You can tell Daddy anything, remember?"
That was when she told me about the problem. She looked at me with teary eyes and it broke me, "They are laughing about me because I am supposed to be a big girl now, they say why does my dad get to pick my clothes."
I do not want my daughter to be picked on at school. Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience trauma when they grow up. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. God, I surely do not want that.
My daughter cried about this once but it made me think about it for weeks, so what do I do? Take her to the mall with me, yeah sure. But Lexa wants autonomy to pick her clothes. And then I realised a solution when I was looking at my daughter playing games on my tablet.
I restricted the browser, some apps, and even YouTube when she was using it, I guess I was protecting her too much and that is when I knew what I had to do.
I will give her the autonomy to pick her clothes by allowing her to do the shopping herself alone, she told me she is a big girl already and that is exactly how I would make her feel. I clicked on a new tab and opened Chateau De Sable and let her do her thing. Shop for her girl clothes online herself. She was ecstatic and she found the website easy to navigate, I was thankful that the website was easy on the eye, with great photos and a very responsive page.
Lexa added at least ten girl dresses that she wants to wear to her cart and I have never seen my daughter look so happy.
Let your kid decide on her own. Just because we are their parents does not mean that we can be deciding for them for as long as we want. Lexa taught me that as a father of today's younger generation. I could only do as much as to guide her, but what she wants, it is up to her.
If you are like me, visit Chateau De Sable's website to shop for girl dresses online in Singapore!
